Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Meth Zombies

Let me preface this by saying that I come from a somewhat rural part of Michigan about on hour and a half North of Detroit where Meth is very popular.

My friends and I were driving from Rochester to a house party about four miles out of Oxford. We liked sticking to the back roads so instead of making the sensible decision and going on a paved road we went down S Coats road to get to "Drahner Rd."

We were driving my friend's Wrangler and going as fast as we possibly could when we suddenly had to come to a sudden, screeching stop. In the road about 50 feet ahead of the car about 25 listless people stood empty eyed and expressionless in the middle of the road.

My friend put it into first and started slowly approaching the people who did absolutely nothing to avoid the car heading towards them. As we got closer they moved only enough to assimilate the jeep like when a one-celled organism eats another. They stood only inches from the car and stared in listlessly with blank expressions as we slowly trolled through their human barrier.

Once we had passed the last of them my friend floored it and inadvertently shot rocks into the crowd this greatly agitated them. They started ranting nonsense and gave slow steady chase but we quickly lost them as my friend drove the car as fast as he could.

 We only got a mile when my friend rounded a tight corner and hit an enormous pothole. The right front tire suffered from severe decompression and flattened. We immediately jumped out the car and started the quickest tire change outside of an F1 race.

We started hearing their shouts and the job became the fastest tire change ever. As we pulled the jack out from under the jeep the first of the meth-heads started rounding the corner. We all jumped in the car and never looked back.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This, people, is why you all need to know how to change a tire. men, women, dogs, doesn't matter who you are. Learn how to change a damn tire.