Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Selling Souls

My boyfriend (who is a truck driver) was back in town for the night, and I had just finished working a ridiculously long week, so we decided to head to our local bar and grab a quick drink with a friend. First of all, creeper guy had picked me out before we even entered the bar. This bar, in addition to the indoor portion (with bar, dancefloor, and bathrooms) also has a fenced in patio area that is visible from the outside entranceway. My boyfriend and I were standing outside finishing up our cigarettes before entering the bar when I noticed this guy.

He was the only person out on the patio, smoking a cigarette. He looked directly at me and held eye contact for far longer than was comfortable. The look he gave me was really disconcerting. It was almost like he was attempting to be sexy and alluring, like in the movies when two people catch each others' eyes in slow motion across the bar, but it came off as "hey girl, I'm a deranged serial killer." My boyfriend and I quietly chuckled about it for a moment before tossing our smokes, dismissing it, and entering the bar.

We grabbed a drink, and went out to the patio to sit by the heater (at that time he was no longer out there.) We're chit chatting, nursing our drinks, just waiting on our friend to arrive, when SURPRISE, McCreepy walks out and makes a beeline for our table. He seemed polite enough at first and asked if he could sit with us, next to the heater. We obliged, trying not to be rude. This is when shit starts to get bizarre.

He asks us what had brought us out this evening, and after making a bit of small talk, he lurches into this ridiculous rant about how there aren't enough women in the bar, that he needs more women for "human sacrifice" so he can "save the world." My boyfriend gives him a sideways look, and he immediately says, "Oh I'm just fuckin' with you, I'm totally kidding dude." Ok, so he's got a weird sense of humor, I can tolerate it for a few minutes. He asks us what we do for a living, and I tell him I work for a veterinarian. He suddenly seems interested and asks, "Oh! What vet do you work for?!" I stupidly tell him, and he immediately interjects, "-Insert name of vet- is a dead man." I stop cold. Wait, what? He continues to imply that he is going to off my boss, so I can "take over the clinic," and drones on and on about all the wonderful things he's going to do for my boyfriend and I since we're going to "sell him our souls." At this point I'm a little freaked out.

He tells us that he was sent by God from heaven, to hunt vampires and "whatever other goliaths" people inform him of...and of course goes right back to talking about "human sacrifice of women," and how he wishes our friend would hurry up and arrive so he could "have more women." In addition to his psycho-babble, I notice that some of his mannerisms are just...off. He was about halfway finished with smoking a cigarette, when he reaches over and snags one from my pack, offers one of his own to another patron, and then puts his out and proceeds to light the wrong end of the one he snatched from me. Weird.

Eventually he comes around to telling us that "the secrets are all in the technology," and asks to "see my phone." I politely decline. But, this guy just won't quit. My phone is laying on the table in front of me, and he keeps inching closer and closer to me, and becoming more verbally forceful. "C'mon, let me see your phone." "Let me hold your phone ma'am." "You need to let me show you something on your phone."

Finally I looked at my boyfriend, and said his name in a tone that conveyed "I am severely uncomfortable right now." Apparently McCreepy took notice of my tone, and the murderglare my boyfriend was shooting him, and quickly hopped up and scurried back inside.


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