Friday, November 15, 2013

Why You Don't Date Someone you Met at Work

This story came from a great thread at reddit.

I'm 28 now, but this happened back when I was 19.

When I worked in a coffee shop after high school, I had several customers ask me out or ask for my number & I said no to every single one. However, Dave was persistent. He ordered a strawberries and creme frappuccino from the cashier and chatted me up while I was making it for him. He asked for my number, but I politely declined to give it to him. He got back in line 20 minutes later and ordered the same exact drink again. He said "I ordered 2 drinks I didn’t want just to talk to you again!" I thought it was cute so I agreed to give him my number.

We started texting that night and made plans to meet for dinner the next day. He worked at a video rental store and asked me to visit him at work a few hours before we were scheduled to meet up. I stopped by and we went for a walk, where he tactfully blurted out, "So this is just going to be a fling right?" I was insulted that he was already thinking about hooking up but somehow he recovered because the date was still on.

He made dinner at his house (looking back, not meeting in public was a bad idea, I realize this) and gave me flowers when I arrived. Things were looking better. After dinner we played some drinking games with his roommate, Joe, who turned out to be a great guy & made the evening tolerable. At one point Joe & I were having a great conversation and laughing a lot. In a sudden jealous rage, Dave snapped at Joe, asking why Joe didn’t just take me out. It was scary since I hadn’t even know Dave for 24 hours.

Joe mentioned that he had to head out soon. When Dave left the room to grab another beer, I begged Joe not to leave me alone with Dave. Joe apologized but did eventually leave. The evening degenerated from there, with the most memorable bit of conversation being Dave telling me how his dad tried to kill his mom with a shotgun. Luckily, I was saved by a phone call from my younger brother, Matthew. He needed a ride home from a party. I thought Hallelujah. I’m saved! ...until Dave insisted on coming along for the ride.

When we arrived, Dave went to mingle at the party while Matthew said his goodbyes. I sat and chatted with some friends until Matthew signaled that he was ready to leave. The short ride to my parents’ house was incredibly awkward and quiet. I walked Matthew to the door and he told me he had accidentally bumped into Dave at the party his response was "Your sister & I were having a great time until you ruined our night. Also, if you bump into me again I’ll break your fucking arm."
I gaped in horror as I realized I still had to drive this psycho back to his apartment. Luckily the ride was without incident, unless you count him trying to talk me into going back inside with him. I firmly said "No" until he got out of my car and then I sped away.

The next day I got a text from him saying 'Not a good sign when the flowers are left behind :(.' I responded with 'Not a good sign when you threaten my brother and accuse him of ruining your night.' He tried to say he had been kidding & that Matthew had taken it wrong but I didn't believe him, especially after the shady things Dave had already done the night before. Plus my brother is sacred to me, and I would never let anyone harm him in any way, so the incident from the night before was enough to turn me off of Dave forever.

I replied, "Matthew thinks you’re a real piece of shit. I trust his judgment completely. Piss off and don’t contact me again." Luckily, he heeded my bitchy text.

Looking back, I realize I should have done a lot of things differently and that I was extremely lucky that Dave never did anything to harm me when we were alone. My brother was only 17 at the time, but he was a big guy (6' 2", 200+ lbs). I'm not sure why I didn't drive Dave home first and keep my brother in the car with me, but never fear, I have learned from this experience.


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