Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Man in the Red Underwear



About a year ago I was attending film school, and I lived out in Hollywood. I was 21 years old, and stayed in a gated apartment complex. Getting home at late hours the community gym would be closed, So I'd go jogging at nighttime -- Usually doing laps around the outside of my complex.
After doing this for about a year, I came completely accustomed to running at around 10-12 at night...
Until the last time I ever did that again.

While jogging I slowed to a walk. I took my headphones off, and looked at my iPhone to change the song I was running to. I had a weird hunch like I was being watched. I looked across the street, and there was a tall dark skinny man. He was wearing nothing but red underwear, and unbuttoned shirt.
As soon as I noticed him, he began to open the unbuttoned part of his shirt seductively revealing his torso.

After being in Hollywood for a while I was use to these crazy vagrants, and all the weird shit they do. I just looked back at him in a disturbed manner, and thought to myself 'whatver, just another---'
Then mid thought I hear-

"HEY MOTHERFUCKER! THE FUCK YOU LOOKING AT! COME HERE!!"
I turn my head over and he's screaming, pointing, and flailing around. I begin to walk faster. His screaming grows louder. I turn around and he's shirtless, just in his red underwear -- crossing the street coming towards me.

"WHERE THE FUCK - FUCK #$%#@$%" He was just screaming nonsense. I'm now sprinting at full speed. In the midst of this that nutjob in his underwear is STILL chasing me, STILL yelling. I eventually turn around; he's gone.

I re-entered my apartment complex, and went home. After I got inside I told my roommates what what happened. We joked about it for a little, --- Then there was a loud bang at my our door.
We all went up to the door, and opened it. Nothing. --- No one was there. We all went outside looked around. --- No one was there.

After that nothing ever came about this, and never seen or heard of the midnight underwear marauder again...Except for the fact I'd only run inside of the community from that point on.
... Let's NEVER meet ...

-Kryptimus

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I keep thinking about being chased by some crazy dude in red underwear and I can't help but laugh. Glad he didn't catch you!