Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Late Night Camp Visitor

Me and my friends had just finished exams to close out our junior year at CS: Northridge and decided to go camping in Yosemite (or thereabouts) before we all had to start summer jobs. There were seven of us, three girls and four guys, including me, my friend J, and her boyfriend D.

We took two cars with the guys in the lead car and us girl traveling behind. They pulled off into the first campsite they could find because it was getting dark and they wanted to set up tents in an area they could clearly see. We all hiked into a field near a pine forest and set up our tents before we fanned out to start finding kindling for a fire. J felt uneasy and decided to stay at camp while everyone else searched.

When we returned, J was agitated but not enough for us all to be concerned. We assumed she didn't like the location of the campsite or that she was having problems with D or that she just wasn't fond of camping. We built a fire and sang worship songs (they were all involved in local churches).

After singing and joking around we went to bed. The boys went in one tent and the three of us girls slept in the another. Sometime during the night our tent was unzipped and someone slipped in and crawled up parallel to J. I thought it was D trying to wake J and talk to her about something because I could feel her body moving like she was being shaken awake.

I told D that he couldn't be in here, and that if he needed to talk to J, he should do it in the morning. Her body stopped moving, and D slinked out. I quickly fell back asleep.

The next morning we all woke up, and made breakfast but realized J wasn't with us. We called to her but she didn't come out of the tent. I asked D what he said to her last night. D said that he told her that once they started hiking and exploring, she would enjoy camping. I responded, "'Why did you have to tell her that in the middle of the night?'" He cocked his head to the side like [our dog used to do when he was confused], and replied, "'No, I told her that at dinner. The only time I got up last night was to pee."

Skeptical, I went into the tent to ask J myself. She was on her left side facing the wall of the tent. I grabbed her shoulder and rolled her onto her back. Her sleeping bag was spongy and wet with blood. She had been stabbed in the chest several times. They still don't know who did it"

Don't Work at Gas Stations

I used to work graveyards at a Circle K in a northern CA college town. CA law states that no alcohol can be sold between 2-6 am. At about 2:45 am, a couple of guys come into the store, go to the cooler to grab a couple of 18 packs of shit-beer (Coors, Keystone...can't remember now). I tell the 'leader' of the duo that it's after 2, I can't sell the beer to him. As he starts getting irate, I offer him a free coffee, soda, candy bar, but I can't sell the beer. (Cops and management had been all over our asses for questionable sales) The leader gets the 1000-yard stare in his eyes and proceeds to start reaching for the small of his back, at which point his buddy says, "Stop, man. It's not worth it." The leader smiled at me and winked and said "See you soon..." and left.

Two days later I got fired for telling the regional dickhead that 2 people needed to be on at night(and a few other things) so my assistant manager had to cover my shift. That night he was robbed and had the shit knocked out of him by a guy that fit the description of the tool I'd dealt with a few nights before.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Seriously, What is Wrong with People

I was about 12 years old. We were heading home through Branson, MO after I had just spent a week at a summer camp. I, having eaten a massive week-end feast had to drop a deuce so we stopped at one of the outlet malls. As I'm rushing in to the bathroom, I notice this fat old guy kind of creepily looking at me and smiling but fuck it, people are weird and I gotta poop! So I rush in, quickly inspect for the cleanest stall, and begin the ritual.

About 30 seconds later, I hear the bathroom door open and some movement. I ignore it because people use the bathroom all the time. But something seems a bit off.
I finish pooping, and notice there's a figure outside my stall. I look at the crack between the door and see AN EYEBALL. The dude was staring at me... I made eye contact. And then I just froze out of fear and began tearing up a little.

He move away from the crack. shuffled slowly into the stall next to me. I begin wiping VERY quickly (no easy task... damn camp food). Then I see his hand, slowly, inching, under, the, stall, divider. I outright nearly begin to cry at this point.

His hand makes this creepy-as-fuck "come hither" motion with his index finger (I've got goosebumps as I type this, btw), when suddenly something just fucking SNAPS in me.

I stand up, fasten my pants, and proceed to STOMP THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF THIS MOTHERFUCKERS FINGER.
And then I ran. Fast.

When I got to my parents I finally look back and see this creepy fuck hurriedly waddling out of the bathroom clutching his finger.

Chrisitans with Guns

My brother and his friends, went out to toilet paper one of their ex girlfriends, and were walking through the fields to get there (we live in rural michigan). They walked in front of this really creepy run down trailer, and once they passed it they heard people stirring in the house.

The people who occupied this house, thought their house was going to get messed up. so as a natural reaction to such a thing, all the guys in the house break out their shotguns, and hop in their truck, and combine and start to run down my brother and his friends.

The group gets split up, one trying to dodge the truck, and one trying to dodge the combine. The group my brother was in (the one getting chased by the combine) ended up hiding in a field laying in the beans, so the people couldn't see them.

The combine circled the field for an hour, using its spotlight to search for his brother and his friends, and the people driving took many pot shots at the field with their shotguns. Once they left my brother was able to get someone to come pick him and his friends up.
It ends up the people getting chased by the truck, were also shot at with shotguns but at much closer range. (thankfully no one was hurt).

Fast forward two years later, we see that same house on the news, it was the home base of the Hutaree (the possible domestic terrorist group who planned on killing cops, but were busted by the FBI in a crazy raid). Im sure all of you Americans saw it on the news.

I dont know why we never reported the whole incident to the police. My brother said the whole experience was pretty terrifying.

The Hutaree

Foot Fetish Fun

This didn't happen to me, but it happened to my cousin who was about 30 years old at the time. She was walking out of a Meijer 24 hour store late at night and she noticed there was a strange guy following close behind her. When she looked back he said hello, and asked her if she would take off her shoes and let him give her a foot massage. So she started to walk faster, and then he asked something about giving him some toenail clippings. At that point she was both grossed out and creeped out. She started running and slipped off one shoe and pulled off a sock and threw it back at him just before getting in her car and locking the doors. This must have been enough to satisfy this creeps foot fetish because he grabbed it and quickly wandered off. We tease her about it now, but it's still very strange.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Random Abuse

This is probably way to late in the thread to get any reads, but it will be good to get this off of my chest. It's not the scariest situation I've been in by far but probably one that unnerved me for the longest period of time, causing me years of panic attacks and fear of travelling alone.

In NYC on a train heading from Brooklyn to the city, a stop or two before the bridge, in the middle of the day, enough of a packed car to occupy all seats with some people standing... I was sitting down, when this huge man walked by and stopped right in front of me. He didn't look homeless, just some angry dude that must have been doped out of his mind on crack, cocaine, or some combination of both. He was dressed in clean street clothes, but had an open bottle of beer in one hand and a lit cig in the other.

Never since have I ever seen anyone that angry, and part of me really believed this man was out to kill someone. He happened to pick me. I was 16 years old, and not dressed in any provocative way, actually something similar to this but the guy just stopped right in front of me and proceeded to spew the most racial sexist insults. I tried not to let it affect me, but after having this guy inches away from my face screaming how all white women are whores and they should be put under ground, for what seemed like eternity, I let it eat me up inside. Normally I would react and say something, but that day I stood quiet only whispering a "please leave me alone". I even carried a pocket knife on me, but some part of me just felt that this guy was going to murder me right then and there if I even moved the wrong way.

In the end he got off the train first, but not before throwing his lit cigarette at me and splashing the beer on the floor so it would hit me. The thing that bothered me the most is that not a single person did a thing. Not one. Most people looked away, except one guy who when asked by the man if he agreed that "cunts like me should get raped and murdered" the guy nodded yes. Yes. I lost faith in humanity in a big way that day. After the menacing man left, a girl sat next to me to ask if I was ok, I told her it was no big deal being NY and all... but two minutes later I stepped off the train and couldn't stop shaking and crying for half an hour. It affected me for years to come, I think because I was very young and in a bad place as it was.

Now... I couldn't care less. I would punch that dick in the nuts he probably doesn't have anyway.

A Brotherhood of Thieves

Many years back I was driving along rather late at night on a road near the hospital I was interning at, in a shady part of Detroit (back when the city was even more dangerous). There were only a few cars on the road at that time, and at that time I had been living there for only a few months so I did not knew about most of the dangers that were present in that city (people buying old cop cars and "pulling over" people and robbing them, people jacking cars that were stopped at red lights, etc).

Anyway, my damn car's tire suddenly gets wrecked and I manage to pull to the side of the road. It was late, in one of the many bad parts of town, but I did not really understand that at the time (I am not a native of the city) so I got out and get ready to change my tires (I was not a member of the AAA). I was working on the back tire that was shredded when suddenly another car pulled up and stopped right in front of my car. I assumed he was there to help me (stupid), so I got up to talk to him. The man in the other car got out, and proceeded to walk over and crouch near my front tire with some tools, and started to take the tire off.
I was rather confused at this, so I ask the man, "Hey, what are you doing?".

He stopped to turn to me, face completely serious, and said "You take the back tires and the radio, I'll take the front tires and the battery, fair."

I took me a moment to register that he was indeed stealing my tires, so I just blurt out without thinking, "This is my car".

The other guy stopped, stared at me for a few seconds, then picked up his tools, got in his car, and left. I finished changing the tires, and only a few minutes later did I realize how dangerous it was being alone by a car on a dark stretch of road in the bad part of town.

That does not mean it was not funny in retrospect, though.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Road Rage Gone Bad

When I was a sophomore in high school, a friend would drive me home. One day we went to a record store with two other friends, and on the way back to drop me off, this guy in a truck passed us like an asshole, narrowly missing our car and oncoming traffic. We decide it'd be fun to follow him for a bit. So he turns onto another road shortly after and immediately pulls up to a mailbox and starts retrieving his mail. As we pass him, all four of us flip him off out the window and continue driving down the road.

About a half mile later, we see the same vehicle driving insanely fast behind us. He tailgates us for a bit while we start to panic a little. We start to slow down for a stop sign, and the guy whips around us and cuts us off, slamming on his brakes in front of us. We wait for just a moment, and he steps out of his car with a crow bar. We drive around him, but there's a stop sign in front of us so we had to pause briefly. The guy runs towards my door (the rear passenger door) and grabs for it when my friend takes off.

We're flying down this road, hoping to lose him. We make another turn on to a really busy street and we think we've lost him. We turn again and drive normally for a few miles, and at this point we're convinced we're safe. We pull up to another intersection and are waiting in the right-turn lane, when we look behind us, and two or three cars behind us is the same dude, in the turning lane, flashing his headlights on and off.
We make our turn and speed down the road, but so does the other guy. He speeds around us and slams on his brakes again, forcing us to stop. We try to go around him but he keeps maneuvering so we can't get around. Eventually we stop and I say something stupid like, "maybe he just wants to talk to us." So he's straddling both lanes of the road and gets out of his car with his crowbar in hand and a terrifying look on his face. My friend drives off the road, gets around the dude, and we speed away. He of course does the same and is driving like a fucking maniac, but so are we, so we maintain a bit of a lead on him.

We make another turn and there's a school bus in front of us, just about to stop. We speed around it just in time for the bus' stop sign to extend, and for some reason, the dude actually stops behind the bus, and we speed off.

We were close to another friend's house, so we pull into their driveway and into the open garage. We're all terrified at this point, so we run inside and watch out the window for this asshole. He did drive past the house, but thank god we were parked in the garage so he didn't see the car

Drugged in India

I was in India for work, staying at a fairly nice hotel. I don't do this often - I usually like to head straight to the room and order room service while watching a movie - but I decided to have a drink at the lobby bar.
I had a drink on my own, there was no one else around in the bar and I made small talk with the bar tender. I ordered another drink and decided to use the bathroom. I was gone a couple of minutes and when I got back I noticed that my drink (scotch and dry) had a cloudy white rim at the top which isn't normally there. On closer inspection, the cloudy froth was settling into a powdery residue on the side of the glass.

I asked the bar tender what was wrong with the drink and he at first acted like he didn't notice anything. I was suspicious now and kept at it until he acknowledged he saw something - I mean, it was obvious, there was this froth 2-3mm around the glass.

Then he said that it always happens and its nothing. I then looked him directly in his eyes and asked, did he put anything in my drink. It's hard to explain, but his response, though it was no, told me everything I needed to know. So I made out like I was more curious than anything, and asked him whether he would taste it. He said no and said he would pour me another. I declined and said I would drink it, but i just wanted him to tell me if it was off or not.

All this while, there was this awkward vibe where we both knew the jig was up but we were pretending like this wasn't happening. I paid up and left the drink where it was, locked and latched my door, the whole time picturing myself lying in a bath of ice, sans organs.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Put Your Sword Away

I'm hitch hiking for the first time ever in Jacksonville, FL. As I wait by the side of the road in the cool morning air, a black honda civic spots me and swerves across two lanes of rush hour traffic, screeches to a halt, and offers me a ride. A savvy, street smart person would think, "A normal person would never go through so much effort to pick up a hitch hiker. Fuck this guy." As a naive and sheltered middle class beardless boy I think, "Awesome, a ride."

So I hop in. I look at this son of a bitch, past his innocent chubby cheeks into his beady eyes and say, "THANKS!" He lingers in silence and lounges in the driver seat like someone in a recliner watching 2.5 men wishing he were brave enough to hang himself. The comic book guy doppleganger mutters, "This is a terrible place to hitch hike, all the traffic is going downtown for work. I'll take you to a better exit down the freeway." This is the point where my comfort in the car declines exponentially.
We begin small talk. And after a few minutes he starts rubbing his weiner through his jeans. I see this in my peripheral and I'm not quite sure what this blurry circular motion is. So I quick peek. And the gravity of the situation dawns on me. He's revving up for the big race. I hide my pepper spray on the far side of my body and try to distract him from the impending penis reveal. So I rapid fire ask him questions, "What's your favorite book? What's your favorite movie? Do you like 2% milk?"

He swats my questions away with grunts and disinterest and increases the RPMs. I watch him to make sure he doesn't reach for a gun. I consider pepper spraying him if he does something threatening, but pepper spraying a driver at 70 mph entails mutually assured destruction. My mind races. Then with incredible slight of hand the dick magician releases the main attraction and his dick houdinis its way from captivity. He looks at me with a faint smirk. Silence lingers and I look straight ahead. His fleshy member wanders about freely. I see all of this in my peripheral. It takes a lot of courage to look at a grown man's dick dead on, courage I didn't have. My heart beats quickly, loudly.

He breaks the silence, "Does this make you nervous?" I reply immediately, "Hell yea it does. Are you kidding me? This is not a part of my every day life, man." He flares his nostrils and says, "Good answer. I just had some really good times when I was hitch hiking at your age and figured you might want to, you know, jerk off for me." So I chime in with a "No thanks, that's not my thing. Can you drop me off and put your wang away?" His face reddens with embarrassment as if his high school sweet heart just turned him down, "Yeah." He sheaths his sword of omens.

So he drops me off. I get out of the car and my nervousness falls away. I fall to the ground laughing. How ridiculous. What a way to start my hitching adventure across the country. On some level I respect him though. It's hard enough to talk to strangers or ask someone on a date let alone whip your dick ou

Scary Night in Mexico

I used to go to the University of Arizona in Tucson. One night some friends and I decided to go to Agua Prieta, Mexico, which is across from Douglas, Arizona. Agua Prieta is a shithole of a town. I met some Mexican friends and a few girls we knew at this club. After the club was closed, most of our other friends left and I was standing outside talking to one of the girls from the club and a bunch of other drunk Mexicans started yelling at me calling me gringo, cabron, pendejo, the usual insults. I speak Spanish so I knew what they were saying.

They started walking towards me throwing beer bottles and on the other side of the street, a few policemen with shotguns drawn started walking towards me as well. The situation did not look very good at all. Me against about 12 people plus who the fuck knows what the police were going to do.

I turned around and ran as fast as I could towards the border with beer bottles whizzing past me and breaking near my feet. Luckily I got to the border without getting my ass kicked or hit by any bottles. By the time I got the US border, the US border guards saw the people and police following me and basically told me I was lucky to get out of there alive. I never went back down there. Fuck that. A few months later, a Mexican American friend of ours was killed down there.

Subway Creeper

I live in NYC and work the graveyard shift. I get out about 4-5am every night. So I'm on the subway and I jump on the 1 train and there is this guy sitting alone with a fedora and a trench coat. we're the only two in the car.

I look at him right before I step on and we make eye contact. His eyes are bloodshot and crossed and I hesitate right before getting on and he notices clearly. I get on anyway and walk down to the complete opposite side of the car. I'm bigger than him (he's a small fat, pale white, middle aged bald guy) but he is just staring me down and hasn't taken his hands out of his pockets.

He has his eyes locked on me and it's making me uncomfortable so I just turn and start staring at him (thinking he might look away quickly). Instead, he stands up. I immediately stand up too and we are just standing at either end of the car looking at each other.

As we're pulling up to the next stop, I walk up to the door like I'm getting off. The car stops and the doors open (still no one in sight) and I jump off the train. He jumps off too. I wait for the Ding! the doors make before closing and jump back in right as they close. He doesn't make it. As the train starts to pull out this guy just stares me down through the glass. I waved goodbye with a big shit eating grin.

Empty Eyesocket Pervert

I used to live next to an eye hospital. One day, walking home, I was stopped by an old man who clearly had trouble seeing. He asked me to help him across the road to the hospital. I agreed, and he grabbed hold of my hand very tightly. At this point I noticed his fingers were stained brown from tobacco, covered in scabs, and his fingernails were very long and dirty. I started to think that my good deed for the day would be a bit regrettable.

When we got to the other side of the road he still had my hand grasped so tightly I couldn't politely pull away. "Do you want to see my eye?" he said. One of his eyes was squeezed shut. With his free hand he pulled the lids apart and I realised to my horror that he had no eyeball just an empty socket. I started babbling (still trying to be polite) about how that was very interesting, but I had to go.

Then he uttered the immortal words: "Do you want to put your finger in there?" He was pulling really hard on my hand trying to force my fingers into his empty eye socket.

At this point I gave up on politeness and struggled my hand free (it was difficult, he was really strong) and just ran for it. I could hear him laughing as I ran off.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Creepy Flasher

One time, I got a flat very late at night, so I pulled in to a gas station. I tried putting air in my tire, but the valve broke off as I tried, causing the tire to completely deflate.

I was standing outside my car, talking to AAA when a large, older black man approached me. He disregarded the fact that I was on the telephone, and asked if I needed help. A little weirded out, I smiled politely and thanked him, but told him I had AAA and they would take care of me. He insisted that he would help me, and gestured towards a silver car parked in the shadows, telling me he would drive me anywhere. I again thanked him, and told him no. He then said he was there to buy a soda and did I want anything? At this point I was fed up and a little scared, so I firmly told him he needed to go buy his soda, and I was going to get into my car now.

He walked off, I locked myself in the car, and the dispatcher at AAA, who had been on the phone for the entire conversation, asked if I wanted her to call the police. I told her no, it was fine. I didn't want to come off as racist. God I was an idiot. I've since learned the difference between racism and looking out for your personal well being. "Well," the woman from AAA said, "You might not think you're in any danger, but I'm concerned, so I'm bumping you to the top of the list."

We hung up, and I sat in the car, bored. At this point, I noticed my new friend had come out of the store and was standing about 20 feet from my car, staring at me. I thought this was very bizarre, and I started feeling a little nervous. I made sure my doors were safely locked. Over the next 20 minutes or so, I would take sidelong glances in his direction to see if he was still there. Eventually, he disappeared, and I heaved a sigh of relief.

Then, suddenly, I saw him again- he had stepped back inside the store and was crouched behind a window cling, staring directly at me. This was too much- racism or no, I was fucking freaked out. I called 911.

"911, what is your emergency?"
I explained the situation, and that I was scared.
"Ok, I'll dispatch an officer to you immediately."
"Oh, no, that won't be necessary, I don't want to waste anyone's time. Could you please just stay on the phone with me until the tow truck gets here? That way, if he approaches me again, I can show him I'm on the phone with the police."
"Alright...sweetheart, can you tell me exactly where you are?"
"Sure. I'm at the Hess on Colonial and...Mercy Drive, it looks like."
The dispatcher paused.

"Miss, I don't mean to alarm you, but I need to let you know- you are currently stranded at one of the most dangerous intersections in the country. I'm dispatching an officer immediately, you need to promise that you won't exit your car for any reason and do NOT hang up the phone until either a police officer or your tow truck is there."

So, I stay on the phone, nervous, but not really thinking anything would happen. I would occasionally glance back at the store to see if Mr. Creeper was still there...until, finally, he disappeared!
I told the dispatcher, very relieved by this turn of events when suddenly-- the man somehow appeared in front of my car! He was walking right towards me, straight into my headlights! He reached down to adjust his pants when- BAM.

Yeah, that's right. He pulled his penis out.

I burst into tears and started shouting into the phone what was happening. I averted my eyes to the steering wheel, not wanting to look at it.

Now, since I was looking at my steering wheel, it came as quite a surprise when he appeared at my passenger door and tried to force his way in. Adrenaline is a funny thing- no longer was I a broken victim. I was pissed.
I started screaming all sorts of obscenities at him. I told him I was on the phone with the FUCKING police, and they were going to put his ass in JAIL. I called him a bastard, a son of a bitch, a cunt. The poor 911 dispatcher must have thought I opened my door to scream at him, so she in turn was screaming at me to shut the door and wait for the cops.

After maybe 3 minutes of screaming at him, he seemed to realize I wasn't responding favorably to his attempts at wooing the gentle lady that I am. He strolled towards some gas pumps about 10 feet away, and stayed there.

Several minutes after that, the tow truck rolls in. A gentlemen got out of the truck, and started heading my way. He noticed I wasn't getting out of my car to greet him, so he pointed at his hat, which proudly stated AAA.

He got right up to my car door, and I shook my head violently, refusing to get out. I cracked the door open, and his face changed- he saw that I had tears running down my cheeks and mascara smeared under my eyes.
I explained quickly what had happened, nodding towards the man calmly standing by the gas pumps. He had put his dick away at this point. I saw the tow truck driver's face harden. "Did that motherfucker hit you?"

He thought the smeared mascara was, in fact, a set of black eyes. I shook my head, no.
"Lock your doors and tell the police to get there fucking asses here NOW. I'm going to make sure this shit head doesn't leave."

I watched him walk over to Mr. Creeper, and held my breath, expecting fists to be thrown. Instead, I saw what looked like a very cordial conversation. I found out after that he decided to pleasantly ask for directions to keep him here.

Suddenly, we heard sirens. Mr. Creeper wildly looked in the direction of the sound, then directly at me, then glared at my Knight in Rusty Armor. He realized he had been tricked.

The police showed up, he was handcuffed, and I had to write the mother of all witness statements. They searched him, and it turns out he had a crack pipe on him, and that he was under the influence of cocaine.
So yeah. That's my story. It wasn't pleasant, but I'm glad it happened to me and I was able to get him arrested. I shudder to think what would have happened to some other poor girl if he had gone free that night.

Creepy Bookstore

I was driving home from a cousin's graduation party, and I took a wondering route home through back-roads I had never been on.  On my way home I and came across a book store in a tiny town in the woods. The book store was actually a house, where the front of the home had been converted into a store. There was a box on the porch that said "50 cent books!" so I stopped to see if there were any Stephen King books in there.

As I'm in the shop, a middle aged woman comes out through a door with a huge smile, and gives me a bowl of fruit and some tea. I'm thinking to myself, "this place is awesome!" and rifle through books while eating the fruit and downing the tea.

Inside the store/home, there were a lot of cool art books and stuff, so I spent some more time in there. She brought me more tea. Even when I said, "no thank you, that's plenty," she kept refilling. Gave me dessert too - brownies and cookies.

I didn't realize it at the time, but she was drugging me. It's hazy to remember the details, but at some point, she closed the shop, telling me to take my time looking at the books. She told me that she was going to go take a shower, and was gone for a while. When I was ready to pay, I had to wander back through her house to find her.

I found her in her bedroom. She was in bed. I'm pretty sure she was naked. At the time, I thought "weird, she's watching an exercise video in bed?" but later realized she was watching porn.
You might think this is hot, but it isn't. She was my Mom's age, and had been telling me how she reminded me of her kids in college.

So... NOT hot.

I told her I was ready to pay, and she told me how to open the register, so I went and opened it, put in what I thought I owed, took out the change, and left.

When I stumbled outside, a fire engine drove by, screaming with sirens. In the distance was the glow of a big forest fire, and the stars were being covered by smoke. A tall man on a horse watched the fire truck pass. He looked right at me, took a piece of wood or something out of his mouth, and said, "town's burnin'."
I swear to God I have a crystal clear memory of this happening, even though I'm sure it couldn't have. By this point, I guess I was seriously tripping balls on something. I'm not a drug guy, so I don't know what I had, but I was out of my mind and could hardly walk.

I got back in my car, and drove home, stupid I know, but what could I do, along twisting roads on tall cliffs above the ocean. Twice I realized I was on the wrong side of the road. One of the times I realized this because a massive truck was headed straight for me, laying on the horn and flashing it's lights. I kept thinking about how my car could be like an airplane AND a submarine if I drove it off the cliff. I can't believe I made it home alive.
Later I realized I was in that house for about 4 hours looking at books.
At least that's what I hope to HELL I was doing.


College Paranoia

During finals week at college I was at the library studying late.  I left the library pretty close to midnight and decided to carry my laptop to my car which was a block and a half away down a side street. The street was vacant and I was completely alone. My phone ran out of juice earlier in the night, and I did feel a little creeped out but it the area was pretty well lit, so I figured I'd be okay.

As I was walking, a sketchy pickup truck drove the opposite way and slowed way down to get a look at me.  I was too scared to look at the driver, so I didn't get a description of him.  The truck did a k-turn behind me and started following me up the street.

I immediately stopped, let it pass, and stood by a lamp post until it made a turn (down the street where my car was). I went back to the library and asked public safety to walk me to my car. As we got closer, the truck that had been following me was idle in the space directly behind my car and sped off down the street as soon as he saw me and the cop.

I almost didn't go back and get public safety because I felt I was being too paranoid. Note: Never be "too paranoid."

Unsafe at Work

I used to work graveyards at a Circle K in a northern CA college town. CA law states that no alcohol can be sold between 2-6 am. At about 2:45 am, a couple of guys come into the store, go to the cooler to grab a couple of 18 packs of shit-beer (Coors, Keystone...can't remember now). I tell the 'leader' of the duo that it's after 2, I can't sell the beer to him.

As he starts getting irate, I offer him a free coffee, soda, candy bar, but I can't sell the beer. (Cops and management had been all over our asses for questionable sales) The leader gets the 1000-yard stare in his eyes and proceeds to start reaching for the small of his back, at which point his buddy says, "Stop, man. It's not worth it." The leader smiled at me and winked and said "See you soon..." and left.

Two days later I got fired for telling the regional dickhead that 2 people needed to be on at night(and a few other things) so my assistant manager had to cover my shift. That night he was robbed and had the shit knocked out of him by a guy that fit the description of the tool I'd dealt with a few nights before. Narrowly avoided getting a shotgun shoved in my face, but a friend wound up with it instead.