Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Burglar Beatdown

I don't live in the best area of my town. In fact I probably live in one of the worst areas of my town. I've been witness to countless drug deals, a gang related shooting, and several homes on my block have been broken in to. Why do I live here? It's all I can afford and it's home.

My security system is non existent, but I have done what I can. My windows are nailed shut, and I have multiple locks on the front and back doors. Many homes on my street have bars on the window, but mine does not. This was a problem.

I'm a heavy sleeper. I mean a heavy sleeper. The world could end, and I'd sleep right through it. I slept through a shooting that happened just two houses down from my place, if that gives you a better idea of how heavy a sleeper I am. Being such a heavy sleeper, coupled with living where I do, I lock my bedroom door at night. It even has a deadbolt on it. I made a decision that I don't want to be murdered in my sleep. I'd like the opportunity to fight back.

One evening I'm listening to some music, a new CD I got by The Black Keys, which was very good btw if you're interested in music, I highly recommend it. They're better than any Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift or any other pop icon of these days. But, I digress...

It's getting late and I have to work the next day, so I grab my CD player, yes I still have a Walkman, and head off to bed. As I'm falling asleep I awake for seemingly no reason. I realize I've fallen asleep with the headphone still on, so I take them off. No sooner did I remove the headphones than I hear glass shatter. Some fuck has broken my window. I grab the baseball bat next to my bed, and unlock my bedroom door, move my way out into the living room, where it seemed the shattering noise came from. Sliding through my window is some guy, looking like a snake wiggling his way in. He suddenly grunts in pain, and I realize he's cut himself on some of the window glass. Serves him fucking right.

Before he can stand, and before I even realize it, I'm after this guy. I'm just going off on him with my baseball bat. He's trying to fight back, but he's got no chance. I give him one more good crack in the head and he's out. For a moment, I petrified that I killed him. Immediately I think of retribution from his family or friends, and how much trouble I'd be in. Luckily, I see that he is breathing.

I run to the kitchen, grab my cellphone off the charger, and then call the cops. As I'm talking to dispatch I hear the guy stirring. I walk out into the living room and see the man pull out a gun. Apparently I hadn't knocked him too unconscious. I still had the bat in my free hand, so I drop the phone, and knock the gun out of the still woozy criminal's hand. I beat on him more, until again he's out. I pick up the phone and explain what is happening. The cops arrive just shortly after the criminal had regained consciousness for a second time, but this time he was too beat up to do anything, and he saw that I had his gun. Cops came and the next few steps in the story are boring, so I'll skip to the end.

Winds up the guy, of course, is affiliated with some bad people, and while he's in jail they're coming after me, their words. Cops are little help, so there wasn't much else I could do. I sold my house, which was bought unusually fast, and got the hell out of dodge. Sadly, moving wasn't enough. At work one afternoon, I went outside for a smoke break, and found my car tires slashed, and a Ken Doll (like Ken and Barbie) headless underneath my windshield wiper. Personally, I'd like to gun up and shoot all the fucks that made my old neighborhood a bad place to live, but I have an intense desire NOT to go to prison. So, that very night I started my job search, and moved from MA to MI, back to the same town as my parents.

It's a shame that criminals can run a decent person's life. Within the law, we are powerless. It might be time that someone steps outside the law. It's Batman time. =)

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